But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
