his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
