yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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