East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
