just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
