She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
