One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Randomize
