I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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