awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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