I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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