If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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