I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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