Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
