so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
