You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
