It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
