I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
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He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
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HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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