it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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