I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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