Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
