One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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