At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
