I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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