Just cropdusted the office
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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