I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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