on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
