i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So much Jack, so little girl.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
