Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
