I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Randomize