I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So vagazzling was a success
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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