If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
