Dual....:-)
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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