Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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