Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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