If i come over, it means nothing
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
