It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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