What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
we should paint friendship bongs
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
