She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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