Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
