So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
