just tell him i said nine months
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize