I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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