Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
