Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize