hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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