All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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