He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
