I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
