I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
