just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
