She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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