Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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