Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
