I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
