sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
