You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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