You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
