Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
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he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
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In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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