I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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