You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
